No one cared about me. The head can be as primitive or as detailed as your artistic abilities allow. You need to be very careful and get your best thrower on the job, or all do it at the same time to see who can throw the farthest. Add the lightly scrambled eggs to the tray. “I am an irredeemable serial philanderer,” thought [Bitch’s name],” and any woman in her right mind should avoid me like the plague.”. After a few days (or hours), the Bitch will most likely contact you, kindly requesting that you cease the tormenting. If you brought the entire stalk of milkweed, carefully snip off the leaf with the egg, then place the leaf egg … What crowd can resist the sight of an oversized papier-mâché head atop a highly flammable cape, doused in kerosene and set afire on your Bitch's front lawn? Hobby growers rarely get caught by helicopters with thermal cameras or RF interference from grow lights. Formerly reserved for heads of state, and more recently for warlords and politicians, it's only a matter of time before ICC prosecutions are opened up for plain old everyday assholes. This step is the most crucial in the plan, because without certain information, it will be very difficult to go about anything in Step 3. What does contingent mean in real estate? If the offenses committed against you by this poor excuse for a human being are so abominable, so completely heinous that you're 150% sure you want to go through with this, then here are some 8 foolproof methods for permanently destroying someone's public reputation. HOW TO MAKE SLIME IN SCHOOL WITHOUT GETTING CAUGHT!Today Mary and Izzy show you how to make slime in school without getting caught. Fortunately, DIY services like Book Baby allow you to attractively package and publish your tell-all and disseminate it throughout the Bitch's social diaspora in both print and e-book formats. Points in Case is a daily literary humor publication featuring enlightening and irreverent comedy from seasoned writers and fresh voices. Fill a bucket with warm water. Keep an eye out for smoke detectors, since it's easy to set one off if you're not careful. These are some of the thoughts your Bitch will torture himself with as his guardian devil turns up the heat another 500 degrees, and the skin on his backside sputters and pops like a panful of pork cracklings. After spending his remaining time on Earth as an outcast, cut off from beloved family members, the doomed Bitch will have millennia to ponder whether it was worth standing you up at the altar, as he rotates on a spit over an infernal Hellfire like something out of a Hieronymus Bosch painting. If you have to egg some kind of property, avoid cars at all costs because, if caught, it will cost you. What is the distrbution of water in the lithosphere? Furthermore, once egg whites and yolks have dried on siding, they can be extremely difficult to remove without vigorous scrubbing. Sometimes when I move the space heater from the living room to the bedroom, knowing I’ll have to move it back to the living room in the morning, I think, “WILL I JUST HAVE TO KEEP MOVING THIS BACK AND FORTH UNTIL I DIE?”, Writing Satire for the Internet If you don't know the Bitch intimately, become close. Is there a way to search all eBay sites for different countries at once? This may be the ideal venue to expose the Bitch's Ponzi scheme or insider trading, but not as appropriate for broadcasting how he heartlessly broke up with you by text message. Have you ever just wanted to slap a bitch, kick a douche in the balls, or really fuck someone over? I've lived everywhere. If the Bitch was an ex-boyfriend/girlfriend, go on dates with other people in very public places or tell your friends how much better your new partner or special somebody is in bed than that last guy/girl…what was their name? Don't be surprised if you feel the uncontrollable urge to let out sardonic, maniacal laughing. Whatever you do, don't say anything that could be construed as admission of guilt to your enemy. Work from above the stain and wash the residue downward. Look up a phone number to find out who it belongs to, Find them with a confidential people search, Post an adult dating/hookup ad under “men seeking men” (for a straight guy)—or something equally embarrassing for any other gender/orientation—so the Bitch will receive a steady flow of colorful calls/texts/messages from friendly locals looking to have a good time. One example of this is agreeing to rent the seller the house for 30 days after purchase, so they have time to look for a house, in exchange for a discounted price. What is the WPS button on a wireless router? How do you egg a house with out getting caught? They ran, he chased them. Copyright © 2021 Multiply Media, LLC. Like the old cliche goes, revenge is a dish best served cold. Besides being irresistibly adorable to passersby, this may cause your ex to rue the day he objected to letting Vinnie share your bed, on the grounds that “his farts keep me awake.”. Send dirt (pictures, arrest record, etc.) Ever the advocate of peaceful resistance, I will say this much: sometimes the best solution is to simply say, “Fuck you, cunnilingus mother fucking dickhole,” and walk away…just walk away. Notify me of follow-up comments via email. No one can disprove that your Bitch had these thoughts, and since we haven't claimed he spoke them aloud, we have shielded ourselves from litigation. 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